What Does ‘Dating’ Actually Mean? We Asked 6 Staffers And Got 6 Different Answers! | Essence (2025)

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We asked six staffers to define “dating” and they couldn’t agree on one common definition. So, what’s yours?

What Does ‘Dating’ Actually Mean? We Asked 6 Staffers And Got 6 Different Answers! | Essence (1)

By Charli Penn·Updated October 27, 2020

01

Frequency Matters

Anslem, 38, Digital Content Director
Status: Married He Says: “‘Dating’ to me is when two people are seeing each other fairly regular. They’re going on dates weekly or biweekly and it’s almost an unwritten rule that you’ll see each other or talk to each other frequently. Depending on the amount of time they’ve been dating, they may or may not be intimate (but highly likely if they’re “dating”) and while it’s not BF/GF yet, people know they are an item and heading in that direction.”

What Does ‘Dating’ Actually Mean? We Asked 6 Staffers And Got 6 Different Answers! | Essence (2)

02

It’s All About Getting To Know You

Dominique Hobdy, 25, Freelance Beauty Producer/Fashion Writer
Status: In a Relationship for 1.5 Yrs. She Says: “Dating is spending time with someone you’re romantically interested in with the purpose of getting to know them. I think I’m still dating my boyfriend. I think it’s important to continue to date once you’re married or even committed. You know you’re dating when you’re spending your time with someone on a regular basis; not to be confused with exclusively dating. There shouldn’t really be any guesswork there.”

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03

Courting Is Serious Business

Deena, 31, Hair and Beauty Editor
Status: In a Relationship She Says: “Dating is actively pursuing or courting someone with the intention of being together, whether that be marriage or another form of long-term commitment. I don’t think dating should have a definitive end. But, you’re NOT dating if you’re not romantically interested and have no interest in being with the other person.”

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04

Show Your Love

Name: Joslyn, 31, Photo Editor
Status: Newlywed She Says: “Dating is when two people agree they enjoy each other’s company, are seeing each other regularly (exclusively or with certain terms in place) and will claim one another in public. You’re no longer dating if you stop hanging out or claiming one another in public, stop talking or only see each other to hookup. I know I’m dating someone if we start holding hands in public. It may sound silly, but it’s a big deal to me to display closeness for all to see. The first time my husband reached for my hand I knew we were in business. You know you’re not dating someone if he introduces you as his ‘friend’ or ‘homie’ or comes to you for dating advice.”

Watch 4 NYC Ladies Go On Blind Dates Arranged By ESSENCE!

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05

Exclusivity Please!

Virginia, 25, Assistant Digital Beauty Editor
Status: In a relationship for 4 years She Says: “I use ‘dating’ and ‘in a relationship’ interchangeably. I think there’s an exclusivity attached to dating that is whispered. Otherwise, you’re just hanging out with a ‘no strings attached’ policy. There’s an implication of romance and an acknowledgement that we’ve agreed to claim one another, whether publicly or privately, and be exclusive. Though you continue to go on date, you stop ‘dating’ once you are married, but this could also include the period of engagement. It is possible for two people to be dating with two very different intentions, one of which could be the proposed longevity of the relationship.”

Watch 4 NYC Ladies Go On Blind Dates Arranged By ESSENCE!

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06

Experience Comes With Age

Taylor Lewis, 24, Editorial Assistant
Status: In a relationship for 1.5 yrs. She Says: “In my eyes, the concept of ‘dating’ is something that comes with age. Until I graduated college, when I was interested in a guy, we were simply ‘talking’ or ‘hanging out.’ However, after I graduated, I started going on intentional dates. And when I met my boyfriend, we dated for six weeks (and I don’t mean ‘Netflix and chill’; I mean dinner dates, museum dates, movies dates, etc.) before we began calling ourselves a couple. I don’t consider us to be ‘dating’ anymore. The day he asked me to be his girlfriend was the day we entered our next phase. I don’t have a verb for it; I simply say that we are in a relationship. But when we talk about our future, we agree that it’s important to never lose the magic that comes with dating.

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What Does ‘Dating’ Actually Mean? We Asked 6 Staffers And Got 6 Different Answers! | Essence (2025)

FAQs

What is the real meaning of dating? ›

“Dating” means different things to different people, particularly across generations. At loveisrespect.org, we define “dating” as two people in an intimate relationship. The relationship may be sexual, but it does not have to be. It may be serious or casual, straight or gay, monogamous or open, short-term or long-term.

What does dating mean to a man? ›

Dating is really more of a steppingstone to get into a relationship, where one gets to know someone romantically. Being in a relationship comes much later — where the dating partners do not wish to date other people, have now committed to each other, and intend to cultivate their shared connection.

What does it mean to be officially dating? ›

Ultimately, the meaning of “official” in a relationship is a matter of mutual agreement and personal understanding between the individuals involved. Communication and clarity about each person's expectations are key to defining the status of a relationship.

What is the rule of 4 dating? ›

She says the "3-4 rule," knowing four tenets about someone by the third date, saves time and energy. The four tenets are chemistry, core values, emotional maturity, and relationship readiness.

Does dating mean being in a relationship? ›

Key Takeaways: The dating phase is about exploring compatibility and getting to know someone. Relationships involve commitment, exclusivity, and deeper emotional connection. The transition from dating to a relationship varies for each couple.

How long should dating last? ›

Around 1-3 months is considered “normal” for most couples.

If you two have been friends for a while, or you've been casually hooking up, you already know each other well enough to make a decision ASAP.

At what point is dating considered? ›

Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship.

What is the difference between seeing someone and dating someone? ›

Seeing someone every few weeks or in an open relationship. Going on dates and communicating in between. 'Seeing' someone means you're talking to them, not dating them. 'Dating' someone means going out on dates with them.

What qualifies as a date? ›

"A date is someone personally asking you out — that sometimes can get confused with a one-on-one hangout, depending on the way they mention it or which medium they use to ask you or if it happens to be a group hangout," she says.

What is the legal definition of dating? ›

65. Dating relationship means a social relationship of a romantic nature. Factors that the court may consider in making this determination include: (a) The length of time the relationship has existed; (b) the nature of the relationship; and (c) the frequency of interaction between the parties.

What does just dating mean? ›

Just dating is being open to date almost anyone they're attracted to without regard to where they're going in life, whether values are aligned or even being compatible. On the other hand, marriage-minded dating is dating with a purpose.

What do you call someone you're dating but not official? ›

In a situationship, the person you're dating is not your official partner, but they're not just a friend either: Maybe you've gone on a few dates with them, but it's still too early to discuss relationship status.

What is the golden rule of dating? ›

By treating your partner with the same empathy, respect, and consideration you desire, the golden rule, "Treat others as you want to be treated," can help you build healthier, more fulfilling connections and stronger bonds.

What is the 777 rule in dating? ›

Here's how the 777 Rule works: every seven days you go on a date, every seven weeks you go away for the night and every seven months the two of you head off on a romantic holiday. It might sound a tad prescriptive, and an à deux holiday almost twice a year could be one too many, but nevertheless we get the point.

What is the 7 7 7 rule for dating? ›

The “777” rule involves going on a date with your partner once a week, going away for a night together once every seven weeks and going on holiday alone together once every seven months.

What is the perfect meaning of dating? ›

Another meaning of the term dating is to describe a stage in a person's life when he or she is actively pursuing romantic relationships with different people.

What's the difference between hanging out and dating? ›

Intent and prior planning. A date is pre-planned at least to some degree, and the intent is romantic. Hanging out is less structured, may be impromptu, and is not necessarily intended to be romantic.

What is the main point of dating? ›

The goal of dating is to get to know each other, have fun together, discover similarities, and learn about life expectations, goals, and dreams. Focusing on seeking pleasure instead could cloud judgment. The time to have a talk about your limits is not in the middle of a heated make-out session.

What are the 3 purposes of dating? ›

With each date you're learning more about who you're truly looking for, finding opportunities to recognize and embrace your own value, and ultimately, spending time connecting with another human being.

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